Amnesia
by outerelf
Summary: Is Red Alerts name really his own, or was it from someone else from past? T to be safe


Just telling you all now: FfFfFfFfFf means 'Flashback'. When I repeat it, it means end of flashback, because I didn't want to make it into italics, though I probably should... Nope, too lazy. This was actually a challenge, for amnesia.SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs

_Who am I?_ The question drifted through the mechs CPU, nearly lost in the drowning of his other senses. _Who am I?_

He couldn't remember. What was wrong with him? Slowly, he struggled to remember…

_Fire, screams, an energon sword and guns pointed. He had information, he couldn't let them have it-_

"Lets begin again." The voice was cold, indifferent. He didn't know who it was, what they were planning on doing. He didn't know who he was. "Who are you?"

The mech said the only thing that came to his CPU. "I don't know."

A scowl, pain, darkness… then again came the question. "Who are you?"

"I don't know." The mech whispered, optics unseeing. "I don't know anything. Who are you?"

"A decepticon, that's all you need to know. Now. Who are you?"

"I already told you I don't know." Came back the soft, calm reply. He was too far gone to feel anything else. "Why does it matter? And what are Decepticons?" The name was familiar somehow, all too familiar. Why couldn't he remember what Decepticons were? Why couldn't he remember himself?

_Who am I?_ floated through his CPU before he started hearing the screams…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Red Alert sat upright on the bunk, optics huge. His intake pipes worked over time, as his sensors searched everywhere for any trace of the decepticons. There were none. Just the quiet hum of machinery in the Ark, and Ratchets soft breathing in another room.

Red Alert wondered what he was doing in the medbay. Last he had known was that he had been in a meeting with Prime… No, he remembered leaving, meeting Inferno, and Inferno had said something. Something that had brought Red Alert to his knees, as his CPU and glitch warred with each other.

Or was it a glitch? Ratchet had talked about it several times, telling Red Alert that it seemed more like an old program then a glitch, and Red Alert wondered if he had just been reprogrammed. That could be, especially since most of his CPU was blank before waking up in a decepticon torture chamber and not knowing who he was.

But, as he worked, he found old memories slowly slipping back, and as they did, his glitch grew stronger, fighting to take over his CPU. But he couldn't. When he did, he lost all feeling for Inferno…

Red Alert caught his vocalizer in a near half-sob. But the slight noise was enough. Ratchet came storming into the medbay with the grimmest look on his face. Red Alert stared at him, his CPU still feeling slight odd from the memory recall he had just had. "Well, what set you off this time?" Ratchet growled.

Red Alert looked at Ratchet and asked, "Who am I?"

A bewildered look crossed Ratchets face as Red Alert sighed. "Red Alert?"

"No, that's not my name." He said, optics looking away. "Is it? I don't remember. But the name is important. I just don't know how."

Ratchets anger faded as he stared at Red Alert. He had never seen Red Alert like this before. Red Alert was muttering to himself. "Red Alert, what's your first memory?"

"A chamber, Decepticons. I don't know who I am. I chose the name Red Alert because it was important. But I don't think its mine anymore. It's not my name. Ratchet, who am I?"

Ratchet was disquieted by how Red Alert was acting. Red Alert should be saying briskly that he was fine and muttering about decepticon plots. Not wondering about his name. "Red Alert, lay back, I'm going to run some more tests."

"No, no more tests," Red Alert pleaded, his optics still fixed on something beyond. "I've had enough with tests. Everyone just wants to test me." But, he obediently lay back down, making Ratchets spark crawl.

Prime entered just as Ratchet flicked Red Alert off. "How goes it? Red Alert being his usual self?"

"No. He was awake, but he was… different. Prime, what's his background?"

"Umm, he came into the Autobot army after being saved by Autobts from Decepticons, and claimed that he was a security mech."

"What about before the Army?"

"No one knows. It's like he never existed." Prowls soft voice filtered through. "I even had Jazz look around for clues, but so far we haven't got anything concrete. There was a rumor about a mech named Red Alert who was actually a decepticon, and something about a fight, but nothing solid."

Ratchet snorted. "True, and it isn't like Red Alert would be a decepticon anyways. With the way he acts."

"Why do you ask?"

Ratchet hesitated for a long moment. Long enough for Prime to wonder if he was going to answer. Then, "He woke up rather fast, and was still half in his recharge mood. He looked at me and asked me, 'Who am I?' When I told him he was Red Alert, he said that it was impossible, because that belonged to someone else. Someone important. That he couldn't remember anything beyond being captured by the Decepticons."

Ratchet looked up from where he was calmly hooking up Red Alerts CPU. "I already told you about my theory that Red Alert was reprogrammed into the way he is now."

"Theirs no proof behind it."

Ratchet mad e a slight sound, but decided to switch subjects. For now. "Inferno was walking along and talked to Red Alert, and said something that brought on Red Alerts glitch. What did he say?"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Inferno flopped on the recharge booth, shaking from the close call that had come today. His optics offlined as the memory rose, unbidden.

_Red Alerts mouth twitched as Inferno talked about everything and nothing. He sorely needed the cheering up after the latest round of reports. The Autobots were pushed back on the right flank, while the neutral cities were demanding protection._

_Inferno stopped as he said, "And I heard this most amazing tale about how there was this Autobot that loved another, but that one was actually a decepticon-"_

_Infernos voice faded in a rushing roar, and Red Alert clutched his head, feeling memories rise, memories that he didn't want. He was unaware of his stopping, or Inferno's voice worriedly calling him. He didn't want to remember. Please, he didn't want to remember-_

_He felt a hand descend towards him, and he let off a high pitch screech that made Inferno's spark nearly freeze. "Somebody call Ratchet! Red Alerts glitching like nothing I've ever seen before!"_

_And so he was. The entire crew was shaken by how hard and desperately Red Alert fought, nearly destroying Ironhide he was so violent. When Ratchet had begun working on Red Alerts CPU, trying to figure out what was wrong, he called for First Aid, Preceptor and Wheeljack to aid him, and had refused entrance to everyone._

Inferno shook himself, and glanced up as Jazz strolled in. "Red Alert woke up, but he's still a little out of it apparently. Ratchets performing another operation, though without even First Aid."

Inferno sighed in relief. If Ratchet hadn't summoned First Aid, then it meant that it wasn't too serious, and Ratchet figured that he'd handle it himself. "What made Red Alert glitch?"

"I don't know Jazz. I was telling him the story of the 'Mystery' where the Autobot loved a decepticon in disguise, but still destroyed the Decepticons to save an entire city, only to end up disappearing!" Inferno said exasperated. "Then, he began glitching. I've never seen Red glitch so badly before Jazz."

Jazz laughed, "I haven't either. I don't think the twins have. They've known Red Alert the longest, and even they were stunned by how much damage he had caused through his glitching. Ratchet...has a theory however."

Inferno turned an optic to Jazz, silently asking. "He says Red Alert was reprogrammed to his current state. His glitch is actually just old memories that he suppressed."

Inferno thought it over, then shook his head. "If that's true, then why would he fight so hard against it then? He always said that he was afraid of his glitch."

"Because it's been programmed into him?" Jazz suggested.

"I don't know."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Red Alert lay still on the bunk as he dreamed.

FfFfFfFfFfFfFfFfFf

The mech in front of him was one of the most handsome on base, and he felt lucky to be considered a friend, if nothing more. There was always a chance later that they could get some.

The mech smiled disarmingly at him, "Well, would you like to come with us to the part Saturday?"

He nods, "Why certainly Red Alert. Where's it being held at?"

The two exchange pleasantries, and he walks away, not noticing the dark, almost evil glint in Red Alerts optics…

0o0o0o0o0o0

"It- it can't be!" He said, fear and pain making him tremble.

Red Alert laughed. "It's true. I am a decepticon. Now, you are going to let me into the city aren't you? If so I just might-" The sentence is left hanging in the air, and the mech stared at Red Alert, optics disbelieving.

The lamborghini took a step back, whispering. "No."

Red Alerts smile vanished. "Very well."

He turns, walks away, because he doesn't expect a shot in his back. The mech aims, fires.

Red Alert dropped dead, as the mech weeps. He is quickly captured, and yet, as he stares at the fallen Red Alert, all he could do was not care, wishing for death. He doesn't want to remember anything, so he buries it, reprograms himself so that way he never has to remember what he's done, what he did.

But it isn't enough, for he can hear voices, asking for information he doesn't have. _Who am I?_ He wonders, before dropping in a slow recharge. _Who am I? _A name. A beautiful name, seeming clear and untarnished floats through his CPU, bringing with it a sense of both peace and agony. _I must be Red Alert._

FfFfFfFfFfFfFfFf

Red Alert snapped his optics on, scanning the room, screeching, "Decepticons, you'll never get me!"

Ratchet leaned back, the slightly worried expression gone. Red Alert was back to normal. Or was he?

Ratchet shook the thoughts out of his CPU. If Red Alert had chased out the memories, buried them, then he had a good reason. Red Alert looked at Ratchet, optics glowing slightly. Ratchet's optic ridge quirked slightly, as he looked steadily at Red Alert. "Red Alert, go back into your recharge."

"I'd rather not." Red Alert said politely, "After all, the security-"

"Might go down by one mech unless he obeys me now." Ratchet stated, one optic fixing Red Alert with a strong, hard glare. Red Alert shrank back down, and slowly drifted back into a recharge.

Inferno appeared, optics worried. "Ratchet, how's Red Alert?"

Red Alert shifted uneasily in his recharge, mumbling softly, in a soft, tortured voice, "Who am I?"

"That dream again." Ratchet snarled. "I'm going to wipe it out of his memory banks if he doesn't stop recalling it!"

Inferno laughed, a pure easy sound that made Red Alert relax slowly, listening to it.

Red Alert never had any more memory recalls of that dark time when he had wandered around, wondering what his name was. He knew. It was Red Alert, his entire future and nothing of his past was bound up, so it was good enough.

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs

Ok, I really don't know what to say to this, other then I was both bored and in an exploring mood today. I wanted to see if I could get it to where Red Alerts name might not really be his own. But someone who betrayed him, long ago and he took on the name because he couldn't remember his own.

No doubt Prowl crashed trying to figure out Red Alerts rather convoluted history.


End file.
